Jeremy Goes to Camp Good Grief
What the tragedy of
The World Center brought to wide attention, what the tsunami
disaster reemphasized, and what every household knows when
a loved one dies, even from so-called natural or inevitable
causes, is the unique effect of death on children. Their
fear and confusion are compounded not only by inexperience
in processing such loss but also by not knowing how to respond
to surviving, grieving family members—what to say or
not, what to do or not. As parents, teachers, caregivers, friends,
psychologists well know, dealing with children’s anxieties
after the death of a parent in particular is one of the most
difficult subjects to handle. Not intended to take the place
of well-established programs, policies or procedures, a recently
published booklet, Jeremy Goes to Camp Good Grief, by East End (L.I.) professionals, makes an admirable
contribution to the field. Written for both children and their
families, and sensitively illustrated with beautiful watercolors,
it describes a no-fee, community-funded summer camp, established
in 1997 by East End Hospice in Westhamnpton Beach, NY, located
on Shelter Island where grieving children go for five days
of day camp-cum-therapy, community, and fun. Yes, fun.
Jeremy
has lost his mother (no reason is provided) and lies slack
in bed with his cat, listless, confused, angry. He doesn’t want to go to
any camp. His father, overwhelmed in the kitchen, is coping
as best he can. That morning he is taking Jeremy to Camp
Good Grief. The narrative shows him each day participating
in various activities and becoming aware that he is not alone
and that it’s all right to talk about how he feels.
Though Day 1 involves a lot of sweets and treats, illustrations
for subsequent days show a carton of soy milk and a child
who is left handed. Jeremy bonds with another boy his age
and the friendship proves invaluable. By the end of the 5th day,
he has asked his father if he can come back next year. The
authors—all experienced bereavement workers—all
surely know that happy endings like this are not necessarily
long range or universal. But the booklet at least is a starting
place, even if the children do not attend the camp. The projects,
the bonding, the inclusion of life-affirming pleasurable
activities, are all designed to provide “new insight
and a deeper appreciation of a grieving child’s thoughts
and feelings.” Though some may question the role of “heaven” in
the narrative (the children build a clay staircase), the
important point is not what but that. The children
talk, express themselves in other ways, and most of all see
they are not alone or the odd person out, which can easily
be the case in school or on their block. Named by children,
who also selected its tree of life logo, Camp Good Grief
brings together children of all ages whose sad story is the
same. #
For information call Theresa
Murphy or Christine Leahy at (631) 288-7080.
