Get Off the Fence!
by Rhoda Makoff, Ph.D. & Jeffrey Makoff, Esq.

Reviewed by Merri Rosenberg

Self-help books are not my favorite genre, and I’ll admit to casting a somewhat unfavorable eye when they come across my desk.

I’ll make an exception for this volume, which I think would be a valuable addition to the resource library of any school psychologist, guidance counselor or other professional whose responsibilities include giving advice to those uncertain of what to do next in their lives.

Although the topics included here are more adult than those usually encountered in schools (getting married, changing jobs, moving, making end-of-life decisions for an ill parent), the steps that the authors suggest for reaching those decisions would be invaluableand applicable for almost any age, and any situation.

The authors are expert at breaking down the steps that contribute to how one should reach a decision: separating emotional needs and wants from practical concerns; recognizing a so-called “decoy” decision that can distract from the one that actually needs to be made; confronting the worst-case scenarios that too often lead to paralysis, and understanding the assumptions that influence decisions.

As they write, “Nobody actually makes decisions in a perfect world. We all make our decisions in the flawed, scary, imperfect world in which people sometimes seek revenge, act irrationally, stalk, punish, abuse, torment and attack. Fears of all kinds may be very rational and well founded. You should not, however, allow fear to obscure the decision before you. Only when you identify the real decision can you develop a strategy that moves you toward the choice that
can change your life.”

The authors also caution
that just as people may become blinded by what they call the “parade of horribles”, just as many have the mistaken belief that success—whether defined by job promotions, career success, financial comfort, or even getting married—will automatically make life perfect.

They write, “Be realistic about the benefits that success will bring. There is no perfect life. Success is one part of your life that may breed challenges, and even failures, in another. Miscalculating the benefits of a decision can be as dangerous as misapprehending the risks.”

This book offers a very useful blueprint to help navigate and negotiate the tricky shoals of life—and one well worth keeping close at hand.#